Self-Publishing: Just Another Prejudice

I’ve always kinda felt like any morbidly curious person who wanted to understand how it felt to face daily prejudice and discrimination should just self-publish a book and watch as they were wilted down into an incompetent, worthless, inferior by the rest of the publishing world.

Watch as the condescending headpats come in. “Oh sure, you’re a real author. Sure.”

Watch as every book blogger, contest, and community suddenly wants nothing to do with you.

Watch as every person you tell your book about gets a fixed smile as they pretend to encourage you.

Watch as the world openly points and laughs at you, belittles you, and writes entire dissertations about how you are inferior and disgusting and a blight on the publishing world.

It’s not the full experience of living with oppression, of course. It doesn’t extend into the workplace, where you’re lucky to get hired at all, where you’re often the first person let go. It doesn’t extend to your family or your community or your ability to walk down the fucking street, shop in a store without being deemed “suspicious.” It doesn’t extend to comedians dressing up like you and mocking and shaming your body. It doesn’t extend to casual slurs hurled at you with the expectation that you will quietly, docilely take them. It doesn’t extend into the courtroom, where your rapist will be patted on the head because now his life is ruined, not yours, even though everyone is writing disgusting articles detailing your rape and blaming you for getting separated from your friends.

For me, a marginalized person, self-publishing is just the cream on the already-sour cake. It’s one more thing holding me back from achieving my goals. You could argue that self-publishing is a choice and that being born gay, for instance, is not. But . . . sometimes I don’t feel as if the traditional publishing world left me any choice. For me, self-publishing was the only way to be heard.

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Fact: I Am A Cis Gender Woman. Now Carry On. (also, here’s why I use the word “queer”)

(Quick sidenote, I schedule posts for almost everyday. I imagine this is going to be a very active blog — at least for a while — so if you don’t want email spam, you probably shouldn’t follow this blog. I can live without a mailing list.)

For people who are scratching their heads, a cis gender woman is someone whose gender is the same both biologically and mentally. So, a cis gender woman has the body of a woman and the brain of a woman.

It basically means “not transgender.”

I felt the burning need to announce this because I don’t want to accidentally take someone else’s voice. I don’t want people mistaking me for someone else or thinking that I’m pretending to be someone else. I’m not. I wear a dragon mask to protect myself from various forms of prejudice but facing discrimination as a non-binary person is not my experience.

Sorry to disappoint you, I’m just a lowly binary woman. My gender is female, my sex is female. I write about non-binary people simply because I want to. There’s no agenda behind it. They’re people too, so I write about them. And because I write lots of aliens, I imagine a lot of aliens would be viewed as non-binary by humans simply because they are so biologically different. I.e. Morganith from The Thieves of Nottica: her entire race is intersexual but I doubt she sees herself as “non-binary.”

As I mentioned in an interview, the zonbiri (amphibious aliens) from The Prince of Qorlec have women who all have penises because they’re like seahorses. And yet, because zonbiri women have penises and still claim to be female (neither sex has breasts because — amphibious), humans would view them as non-binary — when on their planet, women having penises is considered binary. See what I did there?


(If you’re on goodreads or amazon, you’re missing the meme here)

I enjoy exploring culture and gender, sexuality and perception because I’ve always been fascinated by people. I even majored in anthropology for a while in college and I enjoyed studying culture for a few years . . . until my college courses kept forcing me into the company of racist, elitist professors.

The point is, I’m not trans or intersex. I call myself “queer” because stating you’re anything beyond gay or lesbian means opening yourself up to prejudice from both straight people and gay people, who are always so quick to invalidate your feelings or tell you your sexuality doesn’t even exist. I enjoy using “queer” to just let people know I’m not straight so I can get the fuck on with my life.

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Jump on my Blog Tour and Get a Free eCopy of The Thieves of Nottica (sorry, that’s all I got)

Haha. The banner looks bad because I ripped it from a document, but I couldn’t help myself. It was so purdy. I wanted it . . .

I’m going on a blog tour with Ultimate Fantasy Book Tours next week, and I’m offering a free ecopy of The Thieves of Nottica.

I wish I could give something better than that, but this blog tour caught me unawares (I did not know I would be picked out of the hat) so I don’t currently have a paperback edition in my hand to give away or a free bookmark or anything (though I did make some swag on Zazzle, I don’t currently have it in my hand to ship to people).

I wish I did. I’ve yet to buy a proof copy of Thieves to be honest. I need to buy a copy to make sure the chapter dividers don’t get blurred when the book is printed. Also, I was thinking of changing the chapter dividers (again) because the current “key” themed dividers look dumb.

If I do a giveaway this year, it will be a signed copy of The Thieves of  Nottica and I doubt I’ll be able to give away more than a few because I’m poor dammit. And do you know how much shipping books costs? I understand the importance of doing giveaways, but I have to eat first.

If I do a signed copy giveaway this year, all the money I made off my books will fund it. So whenever you buy a copy from me, you’re contributing to my giveaway funds.

Additionally, let me apologize for Wicked Witch Boy. I went back and revised the second chapter last night. It leaves me with the feeling that I should never have published something so old that I wrote so long ago when I was typing with green thumbs, but I have nostalgia for the story, there are worse things in print (traditionally), and I figured it would entertain someone, somewhere. I will continue to revise it when I have the time. Again, forgive me.

Outlook Sucks, The Sky Is Blue, and Other Obvious Shit

So I finally got back into my Outlook after being locked out since FEBRUARY all because I kept emailing copies of my manuscript to myself and they thought it was SPAM.

I finally got back in my email, and my inbox was mostly full of — guess what? — SPAM from book promotion scams trying to weasel dollars out of me (yeah, Outlook, keep going in your fight against spam!!!), and literary agents who politely pretended to give a crap about my feelings as they told me they didn’t give a fuck about my characters.

In other news, I forgot how to spell “weasel” and spellcheck had to do that for me.

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Self-Inserts and I

So I been thinking about this since yesterday, when I came across a very disgusting, hateful conversation about female writers. Some of the merry misogynists accused female writers of always self-inserting and focusing on themselves (because god forbid a woman should fantasize or dream).

I mean, it’s not as if men didn’t use fictional characters to fantasize about themselves in fantasy settings — Batman, Superman, Geralt the Witcher is just Sapkowski, Bilbo Baggins is obviously Tolkien, Tim Burton lives vicariously through Johnny Deep, and every fucking video game character protagonist ever is there so men can insert themselves in juvenile fantasies where they are powerful and handsome and all the womenz want them. These men are focusing — gasp! — on themselves entirely, and these are just a few examples.

Men do it too. There’s nothing wrong with a writer fantasizing and self-inserting so long as it’s done well. Of course, there’s no reasoning with misogynists. Their hatred of women will lead them to believe that women can do nothing right. It’s the same for racists and homophobes. Hatred is the same in all its ugly forms: it’s irrational and it’s taught. And it’s taught to uphold a status quo so that one group stays in power.

But anyway. The real point of my post is that I don’t have any self-inserts, though I’m sure people who read my books think otherwise.

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