when madness took its toll (aka why qorth is shit)

I revised Qorth tonight because I got frustrated writing The Suns of Anarchy and decided to do something else productive.

Qorth is shit, and that one person who gave me a five star review was being very, very generous.

Here’s my own review of my book.

In the very first chapter, Cameron says she won’t do any nerdy exposition . . . then proceeds to do nerdy exposition for ten pages, explaining why the sea levels are rising and who the Skuzzies (biker gangs) are. It was really wince-worthy, and I commend anyone who got past the first chapter’s nerdness.

That crap about Cameron not having enough bandages and antiseptic was stupid. Mostly because all she had to do was boil her implements — which she did.

There was too much sex, even for my taste. I think I was literally out of my mind when I wrote this book (sadly, I wish I was joking). I went back tonight and I cut out a lot of explicit stuff that just didn’t need to be there, which shortened the book a couple pages but, eh, it was sorely, sorely needed.

Because I don’t write first person much, I know it was hard to stay “in character” when writing as Cameron, so sometimes Cameron would speak a little too eloquently and use words that someone like her should not. Even though Cameron is well-read, she is still a wild cowgirl who watches more tv than she reads books. Books are scarce in her world, so it makes sense for her to speak incorrectly most of the time, unlike Qorth, who is more eloquent and sounds more educated because . . . he is. His family was wealthy back on Argonnon.

Basically, I went through and fixed some of Cameron’s narration to make it sound more like her and less like me. I also removed some of her feminist rants, because I think I wrote Qorth at a time when I was still pissed about the misogyny I kept coming across online and I was using Qorth to vent, which is bad. Because it meant Cameron was sometimes out of character. Hopefully that is fixed.

There are still lots of things wrong with the book. To the point that I really, really wish I had not asked people to read it. I also wish I hadn’t run a free promotion or wasted my time marketing it. It’s not a book worth marketing. The same way I didn’t bother marketing Time’s Arrow, I will leave Qorth on my virtual bookshelf and just let it collect dust. And if someone buys a copy and reads it every now and then, fine.

I know the book will leave some people with the impression that all my writing is like that, but all my writing is not the same. Every book and series (hopefully) has its own tone, though anyone familiar with my work would be able to still recognize my voice easily (again — hopefully).

Rereading Qorth, I feel like someone else entirely wrote that damn book, like someone took control of my body for a month to write it, then had the gall to publish it on Amazon under my name, and I only just got back to discover this with horror.

I feel like the same thing is going to happen with The Prince of Qorlec. I’ll have fun writing it, and I’ll snort to myself as I make bad jokes and write about sex, sex, sex. And then one day, I’ll look at my own writing and realize it’s crap.

I guess it doesn’t really matter. I didn’t self-publish with the expectation that I would be successful or that anyone would notice me. I self-published because I love to write and I love to share what I write and I’m tired of working so hard and getting zip for it.

I’m starving. Feed me, Seymour.

It would be nice to get something for all this hard work, dammit.

I ate a can of corn today. That was my meal.


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