Rick and Morty S3 Premiere Was Fucking Awesome

So I just sat down and watched the Rick and Morty season 3 premiere (by the way, this is currently my favorite show ever) and you know how everyone — including myself — spent the last few years hypothesizing that Rick’s motivation was to avenge his dead family?

Back in 2014-15ish I made this long rambling internet post about how I believed Rick had actually lost his original family and come to the current family from a different timeline, taking the place of another dead Rick. Thus, Beth thought he had been “gone for years” never dreaming that he was, in fact, dead and that the Rick who showed up was an imposture.

I even went so far as to guess that the original Rick died in the intergalactic war and lost his family (Beth, Summer, baby Morty). Not on this blog, though. Somewhere else.

The creators went out of their fucking way (which was really hilarious) to destroy every fan theory ever made by having Rick’s motivation be some fucking McDonald’s sauce. I couldn’t stop laughing. Seriously, I love this show. I hope it doesn’t spiral out of control like all my past favorite shows and wind up fucking sucking (lookin’ at you, Venture Bros).

And . .. I was hesitant to make this post because I know that in the land of the internet, no one is allowed to have an opinion,  and fandoms are usually full of horrible obnoxious people who want to punish you for your theories and opinions. I’ve learned to stay away from forums and social media just because fandoms are that fucking awful and I’m tired of putting up with their shit. I don’t want to deal with that here so . . . comments off.

You don’t like my OPINION about Venture Bros? Tough nuts. I don’t care what you think.

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YO THINK, JERRY.”

Second reason I don’t like talking about the things I love? I don’t feel like people trying to accuse me of ripping off stuff in my books.

All my shit is mine.

And there’s a sound difference between being a sleaze who rips shit off and being inspired by someone/something you love.

I think I was first drawn to Rick and Morty in early 2014 when I saw the episode Raising Gazorpazorp on Cartoon Network. I don’t really look at tv but I have basic cable with my internet package, and one night for some reason, I flipped to Cartoon Network and the episode was at that part where Morty is fucking the robot and everyone is downstairs tensely listening.

It was so fucking hilarious. What was more, it was a scifi show that was clearly inspired by Back to the Future (one of my favorite movies of all time — see, the creators were inspired by something) so I was hooked and have been ever since. If ever something from the show pops up in my books, it is entirely subconscious.

The thing I love most about Rick and Morty is that 1) it’s smart as hell 2) it’s funny as hell and 3) I can watch it without feeling insulted, belittled, mocked, dehumanized, or otherwise having racist, sexist, bullshit crammed down my throat. It is so refreshing to watch a hilariously side-splitting show without there being some toxic shit targeting oppressed groups of people.

Basically, the creators of the show are not assholes.

We currently live in society that thinks it’s “refreshing” to be an asshole and make fun of the serious shit oppressed people have to go through. I like that Rick and Morty allows me to escape my shitty oppression for twenty minutes . . . instead of laughing and rubbing it in my face.

At the same time, the show mocks racism, sexism, and homophobia and it’s fucking awesome. Anti-sjw people who watch the show aren’t smart enough to get that, though.

(which is hilarious)

I have to say, though . . . One thing I hate about the internet is that the creators of our favorite tv shows will likely see our theories and then make episodes to fuck with us. It’s kinda great that there’s this fan/creator relationship that wasn’t possible when I was a kid, but at the same time . . . I wonder what the show would have been like if half the fans hadn’t (probably correctly) made wild guesses about Rick’s past.

Also, Rick went from just being a genius to the guy who invented dimension hopping, the smartest man in the universe, and a fucking god? Geez. If he was a woman, a thousand misogynists would be screaming “Mary Sue! No way she could be that great!”

I guess I always assumed Rick didn’t invent his portal gun. There’s so much tech on other alien worlds (Jerry getting resurrected after being riddled with bullets, for instance), it seems like someone would have invented it before him and maybe he made his own illegal copy or something. Like when he stole the time crystals. Whatever.

I saw a youtube theory once that compared Rick to Cththu (however that’s spelled, I’m not a fan) and said the creators always meant for Rick to be the world destroyer. I guess it’s not a big deal. I just kinda cringed with all the jerking off they were doing by gushing within the episode itself about Rick. Every five minutes, someone was singing his praises. Summer was calling Rick a hero after he told her “fuck you” in the last episode, and even Morty was all like “Big bad Rick is coming for you!” We get it, guys. You love your own character.

For a split second, I thought Beth would finally have some kind of character arc herself by kicking Rick the fuck out, but only for a split second. The second Jerry challenged her and she just looked at him blankly, I knew Rick had won. I guess Beth isn’t important enough to have a character arc. She exists just to . . . what? Blindly worship Rick and drink to cope with her self-loathing?

Rick mentions that sometimes Beth will come on adventures. We have never seen Beth come along on adventures aside from the Wedding Squanchers episode, so I’m wondering how they’re going to do that. Is she coming on more adventures now?

I think Rick and Morty might be the first show I’ve watched where I just fell in love with all the characters, and I love them so much that seeing an episode with even one character missing is weird. Like if there’s an episode and Beth is absent, I notice. I hope this means she’ll be used more. I like the whole family and I love seeing them on the show, even in the background not saying shit (so feel free to insert them standing there blankly).

Was Principal Vagina in the sewer with everyone else?

Also . . . Pheonix Person? Sigh. I’m one of the few people who was glad when Bird Person died. Bird Person is one of my favorite characters. I didn’t want to see him become a crap breakout character with cliched lines like all the crap breakout characters from other shows before him. Now he’s back to be Tammy’s robot zombie slave, and what the fuck, Tammy is alive? How? The planet blew up! Is this Tammy from another dimension? What is going on here?

All that being sad, I thought the episode was brilliant. I love that Summer and Morty went back to the original world from Rick Potion #9 and I love that Morty went nuts and shot Rick in the head — it was so totally in-character. And what’s hilarious is that Rick didn’t even notice or care how Morty straight-up tried to murder him (and has several times in the past as well).

What I love and hate the most is that Rick only turned himself in so that he could take over the family. It wasn’t a heroic sacrifice after all. He was just getting back at Jerry. That kinda ruins the poignant note Season 2 ended on. Now I feel like they used a NIN song (and a damn good one) to rip emotions out of us for nothing. Turns out Rick was just being petty and vengeful to get rid of Jerry and there was no real meaning behind what he did.

Guess I gotta keep reminding myself that the show is a comedy first.

Or maybe Rick just lied about it being about Jerry and this is just another way the creators are screwing with us. This was An April Fool’s episode, after all.

“Rick is like a demon or a fucked up god” is the best description of Rick the show ever had. I laughed so hard. Because it’s so true. I think that moment on the show was the writers taking a sec to explain to the audience who Rick is. A lot of people have wasted time and energy trying to decide if he’s good or bad. He’s just a person. (Morty is the evil one.)

Gonna be interesting to see what it’s like when Jerry moves out later.

People hate Jerry, but I sort of pity that idiot.

And then that joke about going on for nine fucking seasons. Please, god, no. If you pull a Simpsons/SouthPark/VentureBros I will just have to stop watching.

All shows go to shit after season 5. It’s guaranteed.

And to other fans: Why are you petitioning for that stupid fucking McDonald’s sauce? Knock it off, you fucking sheep.